Astro-Notes on April 21, 2013 – there’s gain in growth

Mars in Taurus, following in the Sun’s steps, repeats the semi-square to Jupiter in Gemini, and perfects the aspect, the

effects of which we could feel yesterday already as we were pushed in a certain direction or kicked the door open for a certain course of action that would come with a new understanding in regard to how flexible we are, especially what our tried and used or convenient approaches concerns. With Mercury in Aries casting a sextile to Juno in Aquarius, a square to retrograde Pluto in Capricorn and a semi-sextile to Chiron in Pisces, we have a chance to look at a relationship situation with fresh eyes and thus to see our own role in this, which could stimulate thoughts about what we could have done differently if we had taken the time to think things through instead of instantly giving up or seeing only one way of dealing with it. Therefore, our challenge is to realize the complexities of life’s circumstances, which requires a new way of thinking where we used to blame others for our failure to be able to consider the conditions we are presented with from a holistic viewpoint. Consequently, as we reflect upon the latest happenings, we might become aware that our own position or line of thought has been too singular, leaving us ultimately undone by our inability to stretch our mind. The more important is it to close these gaps and not allowing ourselves to dwell on the negatives, but instead to learn from the experience. I, for my part, have been following the invitation to the birthday party yesterday night after work and headed straight down to the town square, looking out for the Goderich Grill until I found it and a parking spot right in front of it. So far so good. Then, I summoned all my courage to enter this location. It took me quite some struggling with myself as I noticed that there was a live performer standing right up front I had to pass by (with my Virgo Ascendant and 12th house Virgo Mars opposite Saturn – there is a shyness about entering situations and a fear of drawing too much attention to myself) – not to mention that the place was packed, which would make it tough to spot the small group of people I was looking for (with my 3rd house Sun in Scorpio conjunct Neptune I often wish I were invisible). As I walked in and felt all the eyes on me, I had to fight of an emerging sense of panic. A familiar face came into focus and I approached this girl, asking if she had seen the gals I couldn’t spot myself as my eyes were gazing around. She couldn’t help me out and neither could the owner of the bar, whom I met next. So, I just walked out as quickly as I could, feeling embarrassed and disappointed by the turn of events. Even worse, as I drove away from the square, I drove down the ‘wrong’ street and got lost in one of those subdivisions until I lost my direction entirely – I was literally lost in the dark – what an apt synchronicity I came to realize this morning after I had slept on the whole experience. Inevitably, I had to find my way back to the highway at some point, even though it took me a few stops and turns as I don’t have a sense of direction. This ‘cluelessness’ or confusion, which is so prevalent in my life (again Sun conjunct Neptune in the 3rd house of the lower, conscious mind), stirred deep-seating fears and as a result, all I could focus on was to find my way home. I must mention here that I’m also single-focused (Mercury is singleton in fire in my chart) and this prevented me from opening my mind to the ‘probabilities’. Once I had returned home (or my base or nest of safety and privacy, which is ruled over by Pluto, the Lord over the subconscious (terrain) mind and complexes and phobias of all kinds), I logged in to Facebook, where I saw an status update from this girl, stating that she was in another bar in town – a place I passed twice as I was driving around. Thus, I realized how closed my mind really is, especially when faced with the unknown or exposed to fears – all I can do is panic. I didn’t took a moment to look at the situation as a whole – the thought to look for her car (a yellow one – by all means – it would have stood out) never crossed my mind as I was unable to think logically (to my defense I must say that I don’t know her too well). I just wanted to get away. Today though I’m able to see the situation with new eyes and yes, it would also have helped if I had a cell phone, but I could also have tried to call her from work. Once again, with this Sun-Neptune combo in my 3rd house and the NN in Gemini in 10, I failed to explore all channels of information or connecting. Besides, I was reminded once again of how much the last decade when I basically lived withdrawn from society has shaped me and preconditioned my responses and reactions. However, today is nice sunny day again (even though it’s still cold and my car is frozen) – I can start all over, learn from it and make better decisions the next time.

Tarot card of the day is the “6 of Wands”, suggesting that things are changing in a positive way. There is the possibility of acclaim and acknowledgment. It could be our day to shine or we could be coming out on top. We strive to be successful and seek to promote ourselves more frequently in order to gain the recognition we desire. However, it is important that we keep the ego in check.

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