Early this morning my daughter left to accompany a plane owned by the company she works for on a promotional tour that will take them from our location here on Vancouver Island all the way to Brazil. They will make many stops in between though (first one in Palm Beach, Florida), while I can track their route on a map she provided me with. She will be gone for 19 days and although I’m very happy for her and also very proud of her, I’m also pretty sad. I got so used to having her around for the last 4 months since we’ve been living together and I must admit that I have been relying on her too much (something I realized toward the end of Vesta’s retrograde journey through the sign Cancer), because contrary to her, I’m still in the ‘loop’ and victimized by certain conditions over which I have no control as I’m waiting on an appointment for an ultrasound, followed up by minor surgery. Therefore, I don’t feel too well and haven’t been for a few months; the ache and pressure on the right side of my body reminding me every single day of this ‘wound’ that hasn’t been taken care of yet. Not to mention that there is a lingering fear of another attack I really don’t want to go through again, especially not when I’m all alone here and don’t even know how to get to the emergency (would have to be a taxi ride then, I guess – a very pricy option). However, my daughter is not responsible for me or my situation and she can’t put her life on hold too (that’s pretty much how I feel about my current circumstances).
Anyway, the Solar Eclipse in Pisces aligned with the nodal axis joined to Neptune in the fourth house of my Solar Return chart (in square to my natal Mercury in Sagittarius in house 4), because this is a pattern of the past, a line of least resistance in matters of dependency and support I need to let go off and so does she (the Solar Eclipse was in trine aspect to her natal Pluto in Scorpio in house 9 conjunct the South Node). It is no coincidence that on this day 4 years ago I received a call from her letting me know that she had finally left her abusive partner and moved into our old home (the house my ex and I owned). Yes, on International Women’s Day no less. All the way she’s come these last years is just amazing – from moving up North, a 10-hour drive away from us, to getting her license as an Aircraft Maintenance Engineer (AME), to getting hired by a great company and then moving out West to BC across the entire continent and now traveling all over the world for her job, something that had always appealed to me. Daughters are living out the dreams of their mothers. 🙂
Well, I had hit the road a lot when I was younger (so much so that my closer relatives who disapproved of that kind of lifestyle called me a ‘tramp’) and my Sun was progressing through Sagittarius. In fact, I was totally fascinated by all these foreign places and cultures I heard and read about (some I visited), but then my Sun progressed into Capricorn and that seemed to be the end of it. I still made it into the U.S. after I got divorced (also once during my marriage, but it took me 6 years to go back there again) to visit with my girlfriend once a year and then last year my daughter and I finally embarked on a trip we had envisioned and talked about for many years – we flew to the Dominican Republic and it was such an awesome and unique experience. The thought that popped up in my mind at that time was ‘there’s a whole different world out there’ and now we’re living on an island, where the majority of the population is living an outdoor lifestyle, being focused on health and wellbeing, something I had wanted for myself since the Solar Eclipse in November of 2012 had eclipsed my natal Sun in Scorpio in house 3.
However, I’m only half-way there yet. A health issue that reared it’s ugly head last spring still hasn’t been overcome yet, which is mostly due to the incompetence and negligence of the physicians I had consulted in Ontario during the long mutable square between Jupiter in Virgo, Saturn in Sagittarius and Neptune in Pisces in addition to the Pisces Solar Eclipses of September last year and February this year, which affected my natal Mercury in Sagittarius in house 4, the ruler of my 1st and 2nd houses (chart-ruler, body and wellbeing). At the same time did I dissolve my household, a very challenging and mostly disappointing task indeed, and tried to get a transfer to a store over here – another disillusioning experience. The Solar Eclipse from last September really spelled it out well. So, before this energy is not out of the way, I can’t really move forward.
Interestingly enough, the Sun is out today (after a few days of really nasty weather) – just as my daughter left and I’m surrendering to the situation and my ‘new-found sense of freedom’, beckoning me to leave the confines my home for a meditative walk. I shall consider it. 🙂