Looking back and reviewing my personal experience of the journey from the Capricorn to the Cancer Eclipse this year provides me with a slightly different perspective, born from a deeper understanding and a more comprehensive overview of the events that have transpired and affected my thought process considerably, than when I was traveling along that path. My consciousness would indeed undergo a sensitizing process as heralded by the Sabian Symbol for the Capricorn Solar Eclipse from January this year, in particular so, because this Eclipse formed a conjunction with my SAD Mercury in Capricorn. So, the structuring of my mentality and forming of my mind that’s been going on for the last 25 years in tandem with my need to expand my mental horizons, extend my connections and enrich my perception (natal Mercury in Sagittarius) received a major impetus that influenced the way I seek to affirm my Beingness and express myself (Capricorn Eclipse fell into house 5). At that time, we were considering moving away from this rural area and the limits these surroundings impose upon us to a place in suburbia, close to J’s mom, where the employment situation is different, people are friendlier and where I have a few good connections.
The reconstruction work on our basement began synchronously with me being sent away to Alliston (suburbia) to assist my mother-in-law. Besides, it would have been impossible for me to live in a construction zone. Thus, one could say I readily accepted the greater responsibilities this Saros Series brought along and was even somewhat relieved to escape from a place of such destruction, where the air was filled with dust and dirt particles that made it hard to breathe, and despite the disturbing thought of my cute, little rabbit having to endure this trial, which wasn’t sitting well with me at all. But unfortunately, the wild rabbit she is, she won’t let us carry or touch her. Being transported would only do harm to her and so would the cute, little dog, who was awaiting me as impatiently as his owner. Once in Alliston I began checking out real estate listings for that area and refreshed my connection to the Reiki centre. But with the Aquarius New Moon falling into my 6th house and close to my natal Saturn the issue weren’t ‘just’ greater responsibilities, I also experienced unexpected health problems I didn’t take too seriously though. However, the emphasis was upon ‘check and balances’ and thus the use of my intelligence in order to gain insight into the nature of things, which would’ve been the logical and responsible thing to do in order to be updated and thus mentally efficient (keynote of the Sabian Symbol for the Aquarius New Moon). Not only could I have researched the symptoms on the Internet, I also had the opportunity to ask my ‘comrades’ at the Reiki centre for their advice in this regard. Yet, my mind was preoccupied with the planned move and all the exciting options it would bring with it and then there was a chance that my discomfort could be caused by my mother-in-law’s ‘unusual’ ways of cooking. In any case, my ignorance was mostly based on my assumption that these symptoms would pass eventually. Wishful thinking at best! Since I didn’t have a family doctor and my experience of the health care system in Canada has been rather disappointing as well as discouraging, it’s actually not surprising that I reacted the way I did.
Anyway, another problem I had to deal with was my mother-in-law’s cranky behavior that resulted in verbal attacks and strife when I didn’t respond in the manner she expected as she seems to think that she can enforce her beliefs, truths and values on others, thereby showing a total disregard for and intolerance of other opinions and personalities. She thinks of herself of course only in the highest way. These situations would have required mental efficiency, wherein I failed, because I was emotionally affected and thus allowed myself to participate in the drama instead of controlling it as the more aware one of us. I was more focused on setting things straight and right (Mercury and SN in Sagittarius, Jupiter in highest elevation), while attempting to inspire fairness on her part (Venus in Libra is Final Dispositor in my chart) – a useless undertaking indeed, especially if it concerns someone who always takes sides! If I had detached myself from the situation and used my emotional intelligence instead I’d have truly stimulated some serious thinking on her part, which is exactly what a counselor is supposed to do. The Aquarius New Moon was in semi-sextile aspect to the preceding Capricorn New Moon/Solar Eclipse and the first stirrings and rumblings in this context could be felt. Unsurprisingly, my good friends at the Reiki Centre had tried to quiet my mind in a meditation session during which I had to hold a large chalice with special gem stones to affect my mind accordingly.
Though apparently, I wasn’t ready yet at that time for this gracious gift, indicated by the message of the Sabian Symbol for the Pisces New Moon, stating the fallacy of a totalitarian attitude. I was simply too angry and in need for release of all the stress and the frustrations she can cause others. Once back at home the atmosphere was more supportive toward that end as I kept myself busy cleaning up the mess from the reconstruction work, thereby utilizing my energy constructively, which aided greatly to my reflecting upon the events. Still, although I was able to detach myself emotionally from J’s usual tax-related tirades accompanying his filing of income tax around this time of the year, I experienced an emotional breakdown when he decided to lease our SUV to my daughter – for several reasons, which have nothing to do with her (the Pisces New Moon was conjunct the Mercury-Uranus conjunction and straddling my 8th house cusp, thereby opening a ‘floodgate’ to the subconscious). The very thin Moon crescent, symbolized by the Sabian, could be taken as a sign of a very limited ability for reflection. In Pisces, awareness of self-undoing is essential. With the Pisces New Moon in sextile to the preceding Capricorn New Moon/Solar Eclipse the developments achieved momentum. Other confrontations I faced during that time left me on the defensive and losing end as well, which proved that I wasn’t really able to think and communicate efficiently. As a consequence, my body started to break down (Mercury rules houses 1 and 2 in my chart) and I had to be taken to the walk-in-clinic on Easter Sunday, the time of crucifixion and resurrection.
The doctor sent me to the hospital to obtain x-rays from the aching parts of my body and prescribed me the same anti-inflammatory drugs he had ordered for me the last time I was there (December 08). However, my symptoms worsened, while he had no clue what caused them. Like the air travelers affected by the ash of the Icelandic volcano I too was grounded and truly on probation as the Sabian Symbol for the Aries New Moon had promised. Gaining experience at two levels of being turned for me into the question: To live or to die? At that point it became clear to me that I wasn’t ready yet to die and wanted to live, which brought my spirit back to life. Now, with the Aries New Moon in square aspect to the preceding Capricorn New Moon/Solar Eclipse highlighting my 9th house, I was desperately searching for information about my symptoms and put the astrology to work to interpret the future, while the many medical tests I underwent yielded no results and thus spurred my determination to find the truth. In retrospect I can say that my condition showed similarities to the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico, where the ‘experts’ weren’t able to contain a spill that grew in size with every single day that passed by. Their employed methods actually worsened the impact upon the ecology. Analogously, my condition had to reach a point, where it became almost unbearable, before my physician was able to come up with a diagnosis, which turned out later on to be only a side effect of something larger and thus led to a wrong assessment on his part – the paternalistic worldview, which is based on the male principle of domination and exclusivity, failed to meet the challenge encountered through my case.
With the Taurus New Moon again activating my 9th house and in trine aspect to the preceding Capricorn New Moon/Solar Eclipse I extended my bond with the Earth by planting a herb garden and going on walks through the blossoming surroundings, which increased my feelings of wellbeing and helped me to remain positive in spite of the circumstances. Fortunately, the climate was very supportive; the atmosphere had warmed up nicely. It was almost summerly, which truly uplifted my spirits. I sat outside on our deck with my knitting basket, enjoying the season’s bounties in the spreading of nature and the fertility of life, entertained by the chirping of the birds. Life is beautiful. I was filled with inner peace and appreciation. A herbal practitioner friend gave me some helpful tips regarding my condition and I developed faith, sustaining a belief in a positive outcome, thereby trusting the signs I was able to read through my knowledge of astrology. The physician on the other hand couldn’t put the amount of information he had ‘amassed’ through even more medical tests (an Indian warrior riding fiercely, human scalps hanging from his belt was the message of the Sabian Symbol for the Taurus New Moon) in context or into a coherent picture, seeing only the parts, but not the whole. All his education, the sum of his acquired scientific knowledge, couldn’t make sense of the mystery he was presented with, leaving him no other option than to send me to a hematologist after I had informed him about the persistence of swollen lymph nodes in my neck he hadn’t even noticed and which led me to question his professionalism seriously. Although the specialist delivered relatively good news to me and thus provided me with a sense of emotional security, he couldn’t make sense of the symptoms either. The conditions in the walk-in-clinic and in the hospital together with the expertise of these medical professionals bore ample evidence about how broken the entire system is, while my personal trial revealed how useful their knowledge is.
Anyway, on a beautiful Sunday afternoon I went on another walk, whereby I had the opportunity to talk to my neighbor Adele, which would led me down a new path as she invited me to stop by the new café in town, where I met interesting, friendly people and this would soon connect me with Angie and open up more possibilities. In the meantime I had also heard from my girlfriend Christina, who pointed me in the right direction what my health condition concerned, whereas Angie provided me with the cure. The Gemini New Moon fell into my 10th house, the area of community life and public standing, and was in quincunx aspect to the preceding Capricorn New Moon/Solar Eclipse, marking an adjustment in the dynamic interplay of the yang and yin (Dancing couples in a harvest festival was the message of the Sabian Symbol for the Gemini New Moon) toward bio-energetic rebuilding, along naturopathic lines I might add (coming in contact with the soul of nature). Since then I have not only been rebuilding my body’s health and immune system, but also my social life. As a result, I’ve been feeling happiness as an overtone of social integration and conformity to custom (keynote of the Sabian Symbol for the Cancer New Moon/Solar Eclipse). The word was out and making the rounds that I am an astrologer.